Sitting Here in Limbo

It’s been 22 days since I turned 47.   Now What?

Should I be thinking more about retirement?  Should I just keep doing what I’m doing?  How the hell am I going to pay for The Child to go to college?  I won’t bring up what the market did to educational savings plan?   These questions are just too big.

REWRITE

It’s been 12 days since the marathon.   Now What?

Do I sign up for another marathon?   Do I stick with 13.1 mile races?  I would like to get back to trail running. Perhaps it’s time to get back into cycling?  That small bit of free-climbing I did at Yosemite felt amazing.  Perhaps it’s time to break out the gear and go back to the rock-gym?

I haven’t run since the marathon.  I had intended to take the first week off and recover.  I felt fine about 5 days after the race and decided to play a few sets of tennis.  As I started to hit, I was introduced to some very deep, very unhappy bone-hugging leg muscles.  They were pissed!   So I took another week off running.

The first 7 days back at work have been amazingly productive.  Hell week at work has passed and now as the wake settles, there is smooth sailing until January.   At home, I was much less productive. I haven’t done much and that’s a beautiful thing.  The biggest to-do on my list is to dig up and replace an old sprinkler head – Mañana (doesn’t mean tomorrow, more like someday).

The highlight of my home-time was when I deleted all those old burdensome draft-mode blog posts and decimated my Facebook friends list.  I started 3 different blog posts and hated and trashed them all too.

I have committed to leave my laptop at work during the entire month of August.   When work can’t be brought home, life becomes simple.  I think they call that relaxation. As a person who is frequently referred to as “high energy”, not much to do can quickly turn into stir-crazy.

Limbo.   I’m feeling it.  I have the Disneyland Half-Marathon in a few weeks and I am looking forward to that.   I just haven’t started “training” for that race yet.  It will be OK.  It will be fun.  Running should be fun.  Besides, life’s too fricking short to race hard through Disneyland.

So August at home has been filled with a lot of reading, recovery, Yankees games and music.  The start of August marks the passing of the Yankees’ Thurman Munson as well as the birth and passing of Jerry Garcia.

Jerry Garcia

Jerry and the Dead are always with me in one form or another, especially when I run. There was at least an hour of Dead tunes during my marathon.   It was a special feeling to have them singing in my ears as I ran through Haight Ashbury.  I count my blessings that I am able to get out and run whenever I hear Jerry sing “Oh well a touch of gray, kinda suits you anyway”.  It reminds me that life is short and that every day is a gift, kind of like those specially painted grey hairs.

Before the start of the marathon, I had about 5 different unusual events quickly sort themselves out.  Some of them could have been problematic.  The least of those worries that beautiful morning was that the first song in my running music somehow wasn’t on my mp3player.   I am not going to bore you with the details/drama/panic, but let’s just say that for the first-time ever I started a race not to Thrillseeker by Puretone, but with my “waiting for the start of the race” song,  “Sitting Here in Limbo, by Jerry Garcia and David Grisman”.  I was probably the only runner singing his way through that first joyous mile.

I thought I would include a video of this song.   Take a moment, will ya?  Turn it up and feel the mandolin play.  It will be good for your soul.

Did you listen?

So in a few verses, here’s where I’m at:

Sitting here in limbo
Waiting for the dice to roll
Sitting here in limbo
Got some time to search my soul

Well, they’re Putting up resistance
But I know that my faith
Will lead me on

I don’t know where life will lead me
But I know where I’ve been
I can’t say what life will show me
But I know what I’ve seen

Tried my hand
At love and friendship
But all that is passed and gone
This little boy is moving on

Sitting here in limbo
Waiting for the tide to flow

Sitting here in limbo
Knowing that I have to go

Well they’re putting up resistance

But I know, my faith will lead me on.

So as the sun sets on day 17,189 of my time on this planet (I had Excel do the math), I find myself sitting here in Limbo in my backyard.  There’s a great breeze here in limbo.  I’ve got things to do, but like always, I will get to them; Mañana.  I think tomorrow will bring a 35+ mile bike ride.  Or it might not.

Big things, little things, it will all be alright.  Just as spinning tops aren’t made for stopping, I am down to my very core,  “Bound to Cover Just a Little More Ground”.

Peace people!

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Sitting Here in Limbo

2 thoughts on “Sitting Here in Limbo

  1. Always like your blogs even if I don’t always know what you are on about! As to limbo, I don’t think I ever leave it, it’s quite a nice place to be. Tried to listen to the mandolin but something to do with things technical wouldn’t let me. Keep on running but not until you drop.
    Cheers.

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